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Detectorholisim, Hi my name is Drew and I have a problem with metal detectors eye rolling smiley

January 10, 2019 11:24PM
Yep folks, I am officially going full disclosure tonight.
My name is Drew and I am a "Detectorholic". Wow, I said it, finally!, I feel better! Whew! (nervous chuckle).
Now, jeez, where to begin....sad smiley

"Gilchrist's Encyclopaedia" defines Detectoritis as "a treatable, mild inflammatory condition which affects a small percentage of the population, it is thought to originate and manifest in the brain".

Medical authorities, while divided on the causal agent and/or gene(s) responsible agree that the disease in its most prevalent form is observed to begin in childhood in a region of the brain as yet unidentified conclusively by medical science. [see Oak Island Syndrome].
Multiple theories have been presented none to date has been proven to the exclusion of all others.
Subjects who have been diagnosed with Detectoritis have participated in small scale controlled clinical tests which are promising but far from acceptance by and validation within the wider medical community.
One common recurring outcome of these tests is a general agreement among clinicians that an underlying genetic factor is at work which predisposes certain children to present with obsessive, and increasingly frequent and vivid fantasies centering on ancient secrets, hidden and/or found wealth, pirates, outlaws, the arc of history and mysteries in general.
While this mental preoccupation is the most readily observable early indicator of Detectoritis epidemiological research has now identified adult onset detectoritis as a significant and growing trend. Prolonged exposure to patients known to carry Detectoritis has been identified as the vector responsible for the adult onset form of the disease.
Detectoritis in its advanced stages is currently incurable and leads to the mental disorder Detectorholism.
In its most advanced form the suffering only ends coincident with the death of the patient.
Luckily the progression of Detectoritis to full blown Detectorholisim is easily diagnosed by observation of patient habits which manifest in dependence upon the use, and regular purchase of metal detectors of all types, and associated obsessive/compulsive testing, study of, and use of same.
Psychiatric research has contributed to understanding of "Prime Movers" shown to separate Detectoritis from Detectorholism. In advanced Detectorholics it appears that a specific form of paranoia is at work in most or all cases.
Detectorholism patients appear to agonize that "better detectors" than the ones they currently posses are always out there if only they could identify and acquire one, hence the obsessive study, pursuit and purchase of more and more metal detectors.
In its milder, early form Detectoritis can be treated through the regular use of and application of one, (or more), metal detecting devices, and associated adjuncts designed to provide sufferers with relief from their symptoms.
This outcome can only be achieved through adopting healthy habits and exercise in a robust outdoor environment. Proven treatments involve extended periods of detector use coupled with walking, arm/torso rotation, and deep knee bends. Although this simple and effective treatment has helped thousands of Detectoritis sufferers find relief the unfortunate few with more advanced cases require more intensive therapy to cope with their disease. Promising results have been shown with incorporation of mental acuity exercises specifically research, enforced travel to areas that have been studied, and intensive application of the same therapies that are used to treat Detectoritis.
While it is a lifelong, and potentially expensive struggle many have learned to live with their condition and even thrive.

And, Yeah, I bought another White's Electronics detector.grinning smiley
(post shared elsewhere).

Cheers,
Detectorholic Drew.
Subject Author Views Posted

Detectorholisim, Hi my name is Drew and I have a problem with metal detectors eye rolling smiley

Druid 262 January 10, 2019 11:24PM

I took the 12 step programsmileys with diet Dr. Pepper float

Hombre 157 January 11, 2019 08:57AM

Re: I took the 12 step programsmileys with diet Dr. Pepper float

Jamie 171 January 11, 2019 03:52PM

I took the 12 step programsmileys with diet Dr. Pepper float

UtahRich 159 January 11, 2019 03:13PM

A Declaration . . .

UtahRich 183 January 10, 2019 11:57PM

Re: A Declaration . . .

Druid 163 January 11, 2019 02:44PM

Re: A Declaration . . .

UtahRich 176 January 11, 2019 03:13PM

Re: A Declaration . . .

Druid 178 January 12, 2019 02:27PM

'Bug away!' You can post on the Forums or just e-mail.. N/T

Monte 170 January 13, 2019 07:57AM



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